So, we were all carted back to Rugby for the second part of our potential leaders module. The journey both to get there and on the course was a really interesting one, there were plenty of things that I could say about the two day event, but I'll try and keep my thoughts as focused as possible.
1. Just imagine them in their underwear - We have all probably heard the saying "if you are nervous giving a speech, just imagine the audience in their underwear". Well, as those of you in my group know, I was a few minutes late for the first morning session. When I walked in, and was greeted with a friendly hello, I looked around at the three tables and something really strange happened. I was totally convinced in my head that I couldn't recognise anyone. Seriously, for those first 13 seconds, I looked around and was greeted by people I convinced I was convinced I didn't know. it was a really surreal feeling. Then, I recognised one kind soul who offered me a seat. What was really strange though was that when I sat down and actually looked around, I immediately recognised about 95% of the room. Obviously I knew most of the guys before hand so I was a little perturbed.
When I reflected on this, I tried to work out what had happened. I think it was the slight embarrassment at being 5 minutes late coupled with the excitement of coming into a group I was familiar with that affected my judgement. I totally lost my focus and was totally out of my comfort zone. But this taught me a valuable lesson - something as trivial as being 5 minutes late can affect my judgement and perceptions, quite dramatically too. If this can happen in the very safe training environment, then it can definitely happen in the pressurised business one. So, Lesson one learned at 1005am on the first day. If you are wondering why I called this step "picture them in their underwear", well it was because that old adage swam into my head as I walked in. Don't fear though, I did nothing of the sort.
2. Vindication? An anagram for vindication is "void in antic". One of the immediate pieces of feedback I got was around my gut reaction and the need to be vindication. After a healthy discussion in our group, where I disagreed about one of the decisions, another group arrived at the same conclusion that I had. I immediately sat back, my whole body language saying "see, i told you I was right". I was immediately questioned about this by the facilitator, asking why that was my reaction. I was tempted to start out trying to justify why, but I gave expanding my feelings a go (EQ and all that....)
When it came down to it, I feel that the vindication was important for me as it backed up my own intellectual pride. However, this is not necessarily the most appropriate reaction. To me, this is not as simple as "feeling validated", rather it is publicly feeling validated. I think I liked the fact that another group of people came to the same conclusion that I had. Was I right to think like this? I don't think so, and I am grateful I was challenged on this point. Having your feelings echoed by another group is different than feeling vindicated - there is a certain siege mentality that vindication brings in. I should definitely have let my groups discussion go and looked at the other inputs on their own merits rather than a way to validate my own earlier issues. So in some respect, my antics were void as I wanted to be vindicated.
3. Feedback - its not all sweetness. One of the standout exercises for me was the positive and negative (or is it developmental?) feedback one. For me, this exercise worked really well because of the way it was set up. It was set up in a safe environment, a full day after we arrived so we were familiar and the tools were presented to us. The tools, very simple but very effective, encouraged us to move into becoming effective (if not comfortable) of giving negative feedback. This took me out of my comfort zone, telling people I generally really like how I thought they worked well for me. But I do know the set up was what really set this off. A really well structured activity. To develop this idea slightly, although I learned allot about delivering negative feedback, I think that when it comes to doing this with my team I am going to use a similar approach.
While I am not going to go around handing out cute cards, I would like to develop a similar structure and toolkit to deliver really effective, difficult messages. This is something I will flesh out later, business viable feedback kits are a difficult and sensitive topic.
4. One to One...give me "me" time. The chance to work in a range of groups was great. I had 1:1 time with my peers, 3 way feedback, 7 people discussions at the tables and full room discussions and feedback. The variety not only served to keep the activities and sessions fresh, but it also allowed me to practice communicating within this variety. However, one feeling stood out for me - In particular with the 1:1's and 3 way discussions I got a lot out of. During the exercises I often found myself thinking "I cant wait for it to be my turn".
I don't mean this is a selfish point of view, in some respects it highlights the effectiveness of the sessions. However, what this also suggests / reinforces to me is that this is high value and I wanted to get as much out of the course as possible. The flip side is that I hope this didn't manifest itself in my activities - obviously it is really important that I give as much as I get from the group exercises, its not all about me. I guess the key learn from this is that I need to have control over my own contributions and to be mindful of the team goal (no blinkers on!).
5. Comfort Zone - i was so far from my comfort zone that it was a dot. There were many activities that took me out of my comfort zone, several of the feedback sessions were big learning experiences for me from this point of view. However, there was one "session" that stood out and took me beyond the norm. I am talking about the ancient and noble art of karaoke. Now, I have never karaoked before and I was heart afraid of doing so, but I enjoyed the singing with 3 of the guys. For some reason though, I seemed to think it was a good idea to follow up my initial pathetic karaoke effort with a.... raunchy.... duet.
While I dont think I need to detail all the details, needless to say that this is not my normal behaviour, but two things stood out here. First of all, the social aspect was massive. The opportunity to meet up and socialise with Peers totally outside a work environment did enhance my over all enthusiasm for the course. Secondly, the social side taught me a lot about my own interactions with people. I sometimes find it very difficult to know how to balance work and personal friendships. It is not always clear where the threshold lies and it was great to experience the other graduates in a very social capacity, as opposed to the usual business one. This was great...
--
So those are my immediate feelings on the course. It was, in my book excellent and my initial reaction was to add value to the business, both in terms of developing myself and others. I learned a lot on the course and generally had fun.
Just to finish off, the journey on the course was really interesting. We explored a range of feedback tools, styles and attitudes. There was some fantastic personal development time and some really empowering activities. I left feeling enthusiastic and energised, which was great.
In fact, I left so energised that myself and two colleagues who were driving home, decided to carry on the theme of the two days, which was expressing ourselves. We expressed ourselves by singing Queens greatest hits, wind blowing through our hair. Sure, we may have looked rather odd, but after two days being brought out of our comfort zones, it seemed only fair to bring the public out of theirs with our singing.
Kindest,
Dante
PS if you are interested in hearing the original of the song I sang to the locals, check out the following youtube link. Please be aware, its quite crude. Which is what made it memorable.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4VAv8y2hHM
Wednesday 29 April 2009
Sunday 19 April 2009
The Honey Moon is Over
I have never actually been on a honey moon, but I am starting to feel like my honey moon period on the graduate programme is over. This does not mean that that I am not enjoying myself - rather, it is starting to feel like the reality of the job is starting to hit home. As such, there are a few things on my mind.
1. Back to Reality. After 8 months living and working in London, I have started to think beyond the next weekend. By this I mean, normally my only care is about delivering in work and partying at the weekend. While there have been plenty of times in the past where I planned my future etc, the first 8 months have been so relentless I've hardly had any time. So like the end of a honey moon, I have to start thinking about the realities of the job, career and life in London.
2. Why the change in heart son? What brought this sudden change in heart? Well, I am not sure that it was so sudden, rather I think that over the last few weeks while the pace of the job has remained relentless, numerous items in the news have made me reflect on how lucky I am to have a good paying, challenging and interesting job. With the G20 Summit and unemployment numbers continuing to increase it seemed to a good time to reflect on my situation. I guess what I am trying to say is that when I started to think about my future, I really began to realise how little thought I had given it. This, while not surprising, made me think that while you can maybe jump on the net and book a great last minute flight and get lucky and get a great honey moon, it is ultimately safer to plan.
3. School Reunions. When I got thinking about my situation, I started to think "if I went to a school reunion, what would I say?". I don't really know where this thought came from, but it seemed an interesting way to look at my job. For a start, it made me think that if I was writing a list of what I do, this would ultimately vary what I would tell people. Ultimately, there would be a bit of vanity - I would want those guys I used to know that I am doing well, living happily etc. Again, its not that I am not happy, but I really do feel I would be creative with the truth when describing my job and lifestyle. Working on the grad programme is undeniably great - like a honey moon, you don't come back and tell all your friends about the stupid fight you had on the second night.
4. The media wouldn't let the truth stand in the way of a good story. I guess that many people would probably be slightly creative with the truth - especially if it suits their means. However, I don't know why I would be feel the need to "big up" my job to people I hardly know or care about. Maybe this is because status is so important but I never thought it would be important to me. Maybe that's a bit clichéd, but I've never been one to go out of my way to be seen to be important. It is interesting to see the change in my own opinions since moving to London - I now am sincerely interested in both status and career and this has both surprised and educated me.
5. As the Honey moon ends... The image I have in my head is that first step off the return flight back into the UK after 2 weeks in Barbados. Ultimately the end of the honey moon is meant to be the first day of the rest of your lives together, but on a grey rainy day in Heathrow, you step onto the tarmac and the reality of the situation hits home. Its not that the reality is bad, just it is impossible to guess just how you feel about it until you are face to face with the situation.
For me, I guess this is the key point - how the job makes me feel. I like to think of myself as being quite scientific the reality is that so much of what we do relates to and affects our feelings. The reality is that my status, career planning and lifestyle having a definite impact on how I feel - and this took me by surprise. Ultimately though, just like a once the honeymoon period ends, be it in your job or marriage, you never can tell how you will feel until you are actually in the situation itself.
1. Back to Reality. After 8 months living and working in London, I have started to think beyond the next weekend. By this I mean, normally my only care is about delivering in work and partying at the weekend. While there have been plenty of times in the past where I planned my future etc, the first 8 months have been so relentless I've hardly had any time. So like the end of a honey moon, I have to start thinking about the realities of the job, career and life in London.
2. Why the change in heart son? What brought this sudden change in heart? Well, I am not sure that it was so sudden, rather I think that over the last few weeks while the pace of the job has remained relentless, numerous items in the news have made me reflect on how lucky I am to have a good paying, challenging and interesting job. With the G20 Summit and unemployment numbers continuing to increase it seemed to a good time to reflect on my situation. I guess what I am trying to say is that when I started to think about my future, I really began to realise how little thought I had given it. This, while not surprising, made me think that while you can maybe jump on the net and book a great last minute flight and get lucky and get a great honey moon, it is ultimately safer to plan.
3. School Reunions. When I got thinking about my situation, I started to think "if I went to a school reunion, what would I say?". I don't really know where this thought came from, but it seemed an interesting way to look at my job. For a start, it made me think that if I was writing a list of what I do, this would ultimately vary what I would tell people. Ultimately, there would be a bit of vanity - I would want those guys I used to know that I am doing well, living happily etc. Again, its not that I am not happy, but I really do feel I would be creative with the truth when describing my job and lifestyle. Working on the grad programme is undeniably great - like a honey moon, you don't come back and tell all your friends about the stupid fight you had on the second night.
4. The media wouldn't let the truth stand in the way of a good story. I guess that many people would probably be slightly creative with the truth - especially if it suits their means. However, I don't know why I would be feel the need to "big up" my job to people I hardly know or care about. Maybe this is because status is so important but I never thought it would be important to me. Maybe that's a bit clichéd, but I've never been one to go out of my way to be seen to be important. It is interesting to see the change in my own opinions since moving to London - I now am sincerely interested in both status and career and this has both surprised and educated me.
5. As the Honey moon ends... The image I have in my head is that first step off the return flight back into the UK after 2 weeks in Barbados. Ultimately the end of the honey moon is meant to be the first day of the rest of your lives together, but on a grey rainy day in Heathrow, you step onto the tarmac and the reality of the situation hits home. Its not that the reality is bad, just it is impossible to guess just how you feel about it until you are face to face with the situation.
For me, I guess this is the key point - how the job makes me feel. I like to think of myself as being quite scientific the reality is that so much of what we do relates to and affects our feelings. The reality is that my status, career planning and lifestyle having a definite impact on how I feel - and this took me by surprise. Ultimately though, just like a once the honeymoon period ends, be it in your job or marriage, you never can tell how you will feel until you are actually in the situation itself.
Wednesday 1 April 2009
Twenty 'G's - all on black!
As it transpires, all bankers, personal or otherwise are morally corrupt bad individuals contributing directly to the global crisis. Well, at least this would be the case were you to believe some of what has been said today. I am aware that this is a potentially sensitive topic in the current climate, but I did want to make a few remarks about how I see the current protests around how the 20 G's* affects our positions on the Graduate programme.
1. If You got love - you ain't' lonely: The same goes for hate. While it is not nice to work in a sector that gets an awful lot of bad press, I must say that I for one, find it very interesting to work for a company that has such incredible exposure. Understandably, not all this exposure is positive, but many of us are working for one of the most high profile business's in the country, in the financial capital of Europe. This really makes me appreciate the fact that, yes we are having tough times, but we are not going through it alone. Hell, we may even be one of the better equipped to handle the difficulties. Plus, we all should know, that if we make a positive impact now, when times are tough, we will stand out as being able to contribute to the business in tough times.
2. Lets all Play the Blame game: It is very easy to blame other people for pretty much anything. If you don't want to take responsibility, there is usually someone else you can pass it on to. While this may undeniably be the wrong business attitude, it is important to look at the vitriol being directed at bankers. Some of us may argue that we are still very new to bank, and sure, decisions were made in the past that were incorrect, but its not like we made them. However, the banks do get bad press and one of the reasons we do, I would suggest, is that many people fail to see the difference between making and allowing.
If I were to make something happen, say by pushing a child into the sea to drown, I would have caused the child's death by making it happen. If i were to stand by while a child was in the sea drowning and not rescue the child, I would have caused the child's death by allowing it to happen. The outcome of both my actions is the same - in both cases my actions caused the child's death. This is one way that people look at common issues - the bottom line is what matters, and if you allow it to happen, you are as responsible for the event happening as if you caused it in the first place. This is , I believe, one of the reasons why so much anger is directed towards bankers, as we are working for companies that have endorsed in the past one particular set of rules and behaviours as employees we are happy to allow these procedures to take place.
However, there is something fundamentally different between doing and allowing. In the above example, causing the child to drown implies callous, calculating and sociopathic tendencies. Allowing the child to die implies cowardice, ineptness and lack of empathy. While both sets of characteristics are flaws in character, there are very fundamental differences. However, the point is thatjudgement is often made of the bottom line.
We, as 'bankers', are being judged at the bottom line. If we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem in that we are 'allowing' the problem to happen. However, there is a very big difference between allowing a problem to happen and intentionally bringing it about in the first place.
I for one, am happy to admit that I am part of the problem in that there are things I can do to improve, but I am not willing to admit that I am part of the cause of the problem. I want to make a differnce, but I want to do it in a fair and educated manner.
My guess is that many of the protester's are looking are being very "bottom line" and looking at the ultimate outcomes. Which is exactly the kind of behaviour they have criticised the banks for - looking too much at the bottom line and not enough at the big picture. The big picture for me (student debts, lifestyle, career) is very differnt from the "corporate approach".
Then again, though I may not agree with a particular way of thinking, I would not dream of anything as vulgar as throwing bits of steel through their windows.
My two main points of this post were around the high level of exposure and the philosophical implication of the problems. I have missed out something more serious and this has been intentional. I have not covered the threat to bankers personal safety - but with good reason.
In a modern civilised society there is no place for threatening people because of their (legal) profession. There are many difficult and repugnant jobs that have to be done that do not get subjected to the same exposure in the media. I would not wish to indulge any cretin who threatened a colleague of mine with violence by discussing the fallacies of their point of view.
3. One for the Road: For what its worth, my own opinions are distinctly very left wing. I agree, in principle with a large element of what the protester's have been saying, though I would go one step further and criticise the democratic systems in place. I agree with protesting, but never in the manner which reduces protests to ignorant acts of indiscriminate, disruptive violence.
Coming from Northern Ireland, I know a thing or two about indiscriminate, ignorant violence.
My fundamental point is this. It is fascinating to work in a culturally diverse society. It is even better to work in one that supports pro-active opposition to the status quo. I feel privileged that I can work in a job where I can make a difference and learn at the same time. I don't agree with violence and erratic opinions.
Protesting in such a manner as we saw today is a gamble. It is a gamble for your own safety, your colleagues safety and a gamble on the profile of your opinion.
Ultimately, I would not gamble with things like my colleagues safety or endorse violence against them for holding political opinions contrary to my own. Which is essentially what many people are doing. Protesting is one thing, but encouraging violence is another - it suggests that it is easier to blame than reason.
But then again, that's maybe why I didn't put Twenty G's on this passing off peacefully. I'm just not a big enough gambler and I prefer to reason than blame
Kindest,
DD
*20 G's is actually a reference to the book "the Gods that Failed". It is a discussion of the most powerful leaders in the world and how they modelled themselves as gods - but ultimately, failed.
1. If You got love - you ain't' lonely: The same goes for hate. While it is not nice to work in a sector that gets an awful lot of bad press, I must say that I for one, find it very interesting to work for a company that has such incredible exposure. Understandably, not all this exposure is positive, but many of us are working for one of the most high profile business's in the country, in the financial capital of Europe. This really makes me appreciate the fact that, yes we are having tough times, but we are not going through it alone. Hell, we may even be one of the better equipped to handle the difficulties. Plus, we all should know, that if we make a positive impact now, when times are tough, we will stand out as being able to contribute to the business in tough times.
2. Lets all Play the Blame game: It is very easy to blame other people for pretty much anything. If you don't want to take responsibility, there is usually someone else you can pass it on to. While this may undeniably be the wrong business attitude, it is important to look at the vitriol being directed at bankers. Some of us may argue that we are still very new to bank, and sure, decisions were made in the past that were incorrect, but its not like we made them. However, the banks do get bad press and one of the reasons we do, I would suggest, is that many people fail to see the difference between making and allowing.
If I were to make something happen, say by pushing a child into the sea to drown, I would have caused the child's death by making it happen. If i were to stand by while a child was in the sea drowning and not rescue the child, I would have caused the child's death by allowing it to happen. The outcome of both my actions is the same - in both cases my actions caused the child's death. This is one way that people look at common issues - the bottom line is what matters, and if you allow it to happen, you are as responsible for the event happening as if you caused it in the first place. This is , I believe, one of the reasons why so much anger is directed towards bankers, as we are working for companies that have endorsed in the past one particular set of rules and behaviours as employees we are happy to allow these procedures to take place.
However, there is something fundamentally different between doing and allowing. In the above example, causing the child to drown implies callous, calculating and sociopathic tendencies. Allowing the child to die implies cowardice, ineptness and lack of empathy. While both sets of characteristics are flaws in character, there are very fundamental differences. However, the point is thatjudgement is often made of the bottom line.
We, as 'bankers', are being judged at the bottom line. If we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem in that we are 'allowing' the problem to happen. However, there is a very big difference between allowing a problem to happen and intentionally bringing it about in the first place.
I for one, am happy to admit that I am part of the problem in that there are things I can do to improve, but I am not willing to admit that I am part of the cause of the problem. I want to make a differnce, but I want to do it in a fair and educated manner.
My guess is that many of the protester's are looking are being very "bottom line" and looking at the ultimate outcomes. Which is exactly the kind of behaviour they have criticised the banks for - looking too much at the bottom line and not enough at the big picture. The big picture for me (student debts, lifestyle, career) is very differnt from the "corporate approach".
Then again, though I may not agree with a particular way of thinking, I would not dream of anything as vulgar as throwing bits of steel through their windows.
My two main points of this post were around the high level of exposure and the philosophical implication of the problems. I have missed out something more serious and this has been intentional. I have not covered the threat to bankers personal safety - but with good reason.
In a modern civilised society there is no place for threatening people because of their (legal) profession. There are many difficult and repugnant jobs that have to be done that do not get subjected to the same exposure in the media. I would not wish to indulge any cretin who threatened a colleague of mine with violence by discussing the fallacies of their point of view.
3. One for the Road: For what its worth, my own opinions are distinctly very left wing. I agree, in principle with a large element of what the protester's have been saying, though I would go one step further and criticise the democratic systems in place. I agree with protesting, but never in the manner which reduces protests to ignorant acts of indiscriminate, disruptive violence.
Coming from Northern Ireland, I know a thing or two about indiscriminate, ignorant violence.
My fundamental point is this. It is fascinating to work in a culturally diverse society. It is even better to work in one that supports pro-active opposition to the status quo. I feel privileged that I can work in a job where I can make a difference and learn at the same time. I don't agree with violence and erratic opinions.
Protesting in such a manner as we saw today is a gamble. It is a gamble for your own safety, your colleagues safety and a gamble on the profile of your opinion.
Ultimately, I would not gamble with things like my colleagues safety or endorse violence against them for holding political opinions contrary to my own. Which is essentially what many people are doing. Protesting is one thing, but encouraging violence is another - it suggests that it is easier to blame than reason.
But then again, that's maybe why I didn't put Twenty G's on this passing off peacefully. I'm just not a big enough gambler and I prefer to reason than blame
Kindest,
DD
*20 G's is actually a reference to the book "the Gods that Failed". It is a discussion of the most powerful leaders in the world and how they modelled themselves as gods - but ultimately, failed.
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