The Honey Moon is Over

I have never actually been on a honey moon, but I am starting to feel like my honey moon period on the graduate programme is over. This does not mean that that I am not enjoying myself - rather, it is starting to feel like the reality of the job is starting to hit home. As such, there are a few things on my mind.

1. Back to Reality. After 8 months living and working in London, I have started to think beyond the next weekend. By this I mean, normally my only care is about delivering in work and partying at the weekend. While there have been plenty of times in the past where I planned my future etc, the first 8 months have been so relentless I've hardly had any time. So like the end of a honey moon, I have to start thinking about the realities of the job, career and life in London.

2. Why the change in heart son? What brought this sudden change in heart? Well, I am not sure that it was so sudden, rather I think that over the last few weeks while the pace of the job has remained relentless, numerous items in the news have made me reflect on how lucky I am to have a good paying, challenging and interesting job. With the G20 Summit and unemployment numbers continuing to increase it seemed to a good time to reflect on my situation. I guess what I am trying to say is that when I started to think about my future, I really began to realise how little thought I had given it. This, while not surprising, made me think that while you can maybe jump on the net and book a great last minute flight and get lucky and get a great honey moon, it is ultimately safer to plan.

3. School Reunions. When I got thinking about my situation, I started to think "if I went to a school reunion, what would I say?". I don't really know where this thought came from, but it seemed an interesting way to look at my job. For a start, it made me think that if I was writing a list of what I do, this would ultimately vary what I would tell people. Ultimately, there would be a bit of vanity - I would want those guys I used to know that I am doing well, living happily etc. Again, its not that I am not happy, but I really do feel I would be creative with the truth when describing my job and lifestyle. Working on the grad programme is undeniably great - like a honey moon, you don't come back and tell all your friends about the stupid fight you had on the second night.

4. The media wouldn't let the truth stand in the way of a good story. I guess that many people would probably be slightly creative with the truth - especially if it suits their means. However, I don't know why I would be feel the need to "big up" my job to people I hardly know or care about. Maybe this is because status is so important but I never thought it would be important to me. Maybe that's a bit clichéd, but I've never been one to go out of my way to be seen to be important. It is interesting to see the change in my own opinions since moving to London - I now am sincerely interested in both status and career and this has both surprised and educated me.

5. As the Honey moon ends... The image I have in my head is that first step off the return flight back into the UK after 2 weeks in Barbados. Ultimately the end of the honey moon is meant to be the first day of the rest of your lives together, but on a grey rainy day in Heathrow, you step onto the tarmac and the reality of the situation hits home. Its not that the reality is bad, just it is impossible to guess just how you feel about it until you are face to face with the situation.

For me, I guess this is the key point - how the job makes me feel. I like to think of myself as being quite scientific the reality is that so much of what we do relates to and affects our feelings. The reality is that my status, career planning and lifestyle having a definite impact on how I feel - and this took me by surprise. Ultimately though, just like a once the honeymoon period ends, be it in your job or marriage, you never can tell how you will feel until you are actually in the situation itself.