So, we were all carted back to Rugby for the second part of our potential leaders module. The journey both to get there and on the course was a really interesting one, there were plenty of things that I could say about the two day event, but I'll try and keep my thoughts as focused as possible.
1. Just imagine them in their underwear - We have all probably heard the saying "if you are nervous giving a speech, just imagine the audience in their underwear". Well, as those of you in my group know, I was a few minutes late for the first morning session. When I walked in, and was greeted with a friendly hello, I looked around at the three tables and something really strange happened. I was totally convinced in my head that I couldn't recognise anyone. Seriously, for those first 13 seconds, I looked around and was greeted by people I convinced I was convinced I didn't know. it was a really surreal feeling. Then, I recognised one kind soul who offered me a seat. What was really strange though was that when I sat down and actually looked around, I immediately recognised about 95% of the room. Obviously I knew most of the guys before hand so I was a little perturbed.
When I reflected on this, I tried to work out what had happened. I think it was the slight embarrassment at being 5 minutes late coupled with the excitement of coming into a group I was familiar with that affected my judgement. I totally lost my focus and was totally out of my comfort zone. But this taught me a valuable lesson - something as trivial as being 5 minutes late can affect my judgement and perceptions, quite dramatically too. If this can happen in the very safe training environment, then it can definitely happen in the pressurised business one. So, Lesson one learned at 1005am on the first day. If you are wondering why I called this step "picture them in their underwear", well it was because that old adage swam into my head as I walked in. Don't fear though, I did nothing of the sort.
2. Vindication? An anagram for vindication is "void in antic". One of the immediate pieces of feedback I got was around my gut reaction and the need to be vindication. After a healthy discussion in our group, where I disagreed about one of the decisions, another group arrived at the same conclusion that I had. I immediately sat back, my whole body language saying "see, i told you I was right". I was immediately questioned about this by the facilitator, asking why that was my reaction. I was tempted to start out trying to justify why, but I gave expanding my feelings a go (EQ and all that....)
When it came down to it, I feel that the vindication was important for me as it backed up my own intellectual pride. However, this is not necessarily the most appropriate reaction. To me, this is not as simple as "feeling validated", rather it is publicly feeling validated. I think I liked the fact that another group of people came to the same conclusion that I had. Was I right to think like this? I don't think so, and I am grateful I was challenged on this point. Having your feelings echoed by another group is different than feeling vindicated - there is a certain siege mentality that vindication brings in. I should definitely have let my groups discussion go and looked at the other inputs on their own merits rather than a way to validate my own earlier issues. So in some respect, my antics were void as I wanted to be vindicated.
3. Feedback - its not all sweetness. One of the standout exercises for me was the positive and negative (or is it developmental?) feedback one. For me, this exercise worked really well because of the way it was set up. It was set up in a safe environment, a full day after we arrived so we were familiar and the tools were presented to us. The tools, very simple but very effective, encouraged us to move into becoming effective (if not comfortable) of giving negative feedback. This took me out of my comfort zone, telling people I generally really like how I thought they worked well for me. But I do know the set up was what really set this off. A really well structured activity. To develop this idea slightly, although I learned allot about delivering negative feedback, I think that when it comes to doing this with my team I am going to use a similar approach.
While I am not going to go around handing out cute cards, I would like to develop a similar structure and toolkit to deliver really effective, difficult messages. This is something I will flesh out later, business viable feedback kits are a difficult and sensitive topic.
4. One to One...give me "me" time. The chance to work in a range of groups was great. I had 1:1 time with my peers, 3 way feedback, 7 people discussions at the tables and full room discussions and feedback. The variety not only served to keep the activities and sessions fresh, but it also allowed me to practice communicating within this variety. However, one feeling stood out for me - In particular with the 1:1's and 3 way discussions I got a lot out of. During the exercises I often found myself thinking "I cant wait for it to be my turn".
I don't mean this is a selfish point of view, in some respects it highlights the effectiveness of the sessions. However, what this also suggests / reinforces to me is that this is high value and I wanted to get as much out of the course as possible. The flip side is that I hope this didn't manifest itself in my activities - obviously it is really important that I give as much as I get from the group exercises, its not all about me. I guess the key learn from this is that I need to have control over my own contributions and to be mindful of the team goal (no blinkers on!).
5. Comfort Zone - i was so far from my comfort zone that it was a dot. There were many activities that took me out of my comfort zone, several of the feedback sessions were big learning experiences for me from this point of view. However, there was one "session" that stood out and took me beyond the norm. I am talking about the ancient and noble art of karaoke. Now, I have never karaoked before and I was heart afraid of doing so, but I enjoyed the singing with 3 of the guys. For some reason though, I seemed to think it was a good idea to follow up my initial pathetic karaoke effort with a.... raunchy.... duet.
While I dont think I need to detail all the details, needless to say that this is not my normal behaviour, but two things stood out here. First of all, the social aspect was massive. The opportunity to meet up and socialise with Peers totally outside a work environment did enhance my over all enthusiasm for the course. Secondly, the social side taught me a lot about my own interactions with people. I sometimes find it very difficult to know how to balance work and personal friendships. It is not always clear where the threshold lies and it was great to experience the other graduates in a very social capacity, as opposed to the usual business one. This was great...
--
So those are my immediate feelings on the course. It was, in my book excellent and my initial reaction was to add value to the business, both in terms of developing myself and others. I learned a lot on the course and generally had fun.
Just to finish off, the journey on the course was really interesting. We explored a range of feedback tools, styles and attitudes. There was some fantastic personal development time and some really empowering activities. I left feeling enthusiastic and energised, which was great.
In fact, I left so energised that myself and two colleagues who were driving home, decided to carry on the theme of the two days, which was expressing ourselves. We expressed ourselves by singing Queens greatest hits, wind blowing through our hair. Sure, we may have looked rather odd, but after two days being brought out of our comfort zones, it seemed only fair to bring the public out of theirs with our singing.
Kindest,
Dante
PS if you are interested in hearing the original of the song I sang to the locals, check out the following youtube link. Please be aware, its quite crude. Which is what made it memorable.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4VAv8y2hHM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment