So, we were all carted back to Rugby for the second part of our potential leaders module. The journey both to get there and on the course was a really interesting one, there were plenty of things that I could say about the two day event, but I'll try and keep my thoughts as focused as possible.
1. Just imagine them in their underwear - We have all probably heard the saying "if you are nervous giving a speech, just imagine the audience in their underwear". Well, as those of you in my group know, I was a few minutes late for the first morning session. When I walked in, and was greeted with a friendly hello, I looked around at the three tables and something really strange happened. I was totally convinced in my head that I couldn't recognise anyone. Seriously, for those first 13 seconds, I looked around and was greeted by people I convinced I was convinced I didn't know. it was a really surreal feeling. Then, I recognised one kind soul who offered me a seat. What was really strange though was that when I sat down and actually looked around, I immediately recognised about 95% of the room. Obviously I knew most of the guys before hand so I was a little perturbed.
When I reflected on this, I tried to work out what had happened. I think it was the slight embarrassment at being 5 minutes late coupled with the excitement of coming into a group I was familiar with that affected my judgement. I totally lost my focus and was totally out of my comfort zone. But this taught me a valuable lesson - something as trivial as being 5 minutes late can affect my judgement and perceptions, quite dramatically too. If this can happen in the very safe training environment, then it can definitely happen in the pressurised business one. So, Lesson one learned at 1005am on the first day. If you are wondering why I called this step "picture them in their underwear", well it was because that old adage swam into my head as I walked in. Don't fear though, I did nothing of the sort.
2. Vindication? An anagram for vindication is "void in antic". One of the immediate pieces of feedback I got was around my gut reaction and the need to be vindication. After a healthy discussion in our group, where I disagreed about one of the decisions, another group arrived at the same conclusion that I had. I immediately sat back, my whole body language saying "see, i told you I was right". I was immediately questioned about this by the facilitator, asking why that was my reaction. I was tempted to start out trying to justify why, but I gave expanding my feelings a go (EQ and all that....)
When it came down to it, I feel that the vindication was important for me as it backed up my own intellectual pride. However, this is not necessarily the most appropriate reaction. To me, this is not as simple as "feeling validated", rather it is publicly feeling validated. I think I liked the fact that another group of people came to the same conclusion that I had. Was I right to think like this? I don't think so, and I am grateful I was challenged on this point. Having your feelings echoed by another group is different than feeling vindicated - there is a certain siege mentality that vindication brings in. I should definitely have let my groups discussion go and looked at the other inputs on their own merits rather than a way to validate my own earlier issues. So in some respect, my antics were void as I wanted to be vindicated.
3. Feedback - its not all sweetness. One of the standout exercises for me was the positive and negative (or is it developmental?) feedback one. For me, this exercise worked really well because of the way it was set up. It was set up in a safe environment, a full day after we arrived so we were familiar and the tools were presented to us. The tools, very simple but very effective, encouraged us to move into becoming effective (if not comfortable) of giving negative feedback. This took me out of my comfort zone, telling people I generally really like how I thought they worked well for me. But I do know the set up was what really set this off. A really well structured activity. To develop this idea slightly, although I learned allot about delivering negative feedback, I think that when it comes to doing this with my team I am going to use a similar approach.
While I am not going to go around handing out cute cards, I would like to develop a similar structure and toolkit to deliver really effective, difficult messages. This is something I will flesh out later, business viable feedback kits are a difficult and sensitive topic.
4. One to One...give me "me" time. The chance to work in a range of groups was great. I had 1:1 time with my peers, 3 way feedback, 7 people discussions at the tables and full room discussions and feedback. The variety not only served to keep the activities and sessions fresh, but it also allowed me to practice communicating within this variety. However, one feeling stood out for me - In particular with the 1:1's and 3 way discussions I got a lot out of. During the exercises I often found myself thinking "I cant wait for it to be my turn".
I don't mean this is a selfish point of view, in some respects it highlights the effectiveness of the sessions. However, what this also suggests / reinforces to me is that this is high value and I wanted to get as much out of the course as possible. The flip side is that I hope this didn't manifest itself in my activities - obviously it is really important that I give as much as I get from the group exercises, its not all about me. I guess the key learn from this is that I need to have control over my own contributions and to be mindful of the team goal (no blinkers on!).
5. Comfort Zone - i was so far from my comfort zone that it was a dot. There were many activities that took me out of my comfort zone, several of the feedback sessions were big learning experiences for me from this point of view. However, there was one "session" that stood out and took me beyond the norm. I am talking about the ancient and noble art of karaoke. Now, I have never karaoked before and I was heart afraid of doing so, but I enjoyed the singing with 3 of the guys. For some reason though, I seemed to think it was a good idea to follow up my initial pathetic karaoke effort with a.... raunchy.... duet.
While I dont think I need to detail all the details, needless to say that this is not my normal behaviour, but two things stood out here. First of all, the social aspect was massive. The opportunity to meet up and socialise with Peers totally outside a work environment did enhance my over all enthusiasm for the course. Secondly, the social side taught me a lot about my own interactions with people. I sometimes find it very difficult to know how to balance work and personal friendships. It is not always clear where the threshold lies and it was great to experience the other graduates in a very social capacity, as opposed to the usual business one. This was great...
--
So those are my immediate feelings on the course. It was, in my book excellent and my initial reaction was to add value to the business, both in terms of developing myself and others. I learned a lot on the course and generally had fun.
Just to finish off, the journey on the course was really interesting. We explored a range of feedback tools, styles and attitudes. There was some fantastic personal development time and some really empowering activities. I left feeling enthusiastic and energised, which was great.
In fact, I left so energised that myself and two colleagues who were driving home, decided to carry on the theme of the two days, which was expressing ourselves. We expressed ourselves by singing Queens greatest hits, wind blowing through our hair. Sure, we may have looked rather odd, but after two days being brought out of our comfort zones, it seemed only fair to bring the public out of theirs with our singing.
Kindest,
Dante
PS if you are interested in hearing the original of the song I sang to the locals, check out the following youtube link. Please be aware, its quite crude. Which is what made it memorable.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4VAv8y2hHM
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Sunday, 19 April 2009
The Honey Moon is Over
I have never actually been on a honey moon, but I am starting to feel like my honey moon period on the graduate programme is over. This does not mean that that I am not enjoying myself - rather, it is starting to feel like the reality of the job is starting to hit home. As such, there are a few things on my mind.
1. Back to Reality. After 8 months living and working in London, I have started to think beyond the next weekend. By this I mean, normally my only care is about delivering in work and partying at the weekend. While there have been plenty of times in the past where I planned my future etc, the first 8 months have been so relentless I've hardly had any time. So like the end of a honey moon, I have to start thinking about the realities of the job, career and life in London.
2. Why the change in heart son? What brought this sudden change in heart? Well, I am not sure that it was so sudden, rather I think that over the last few weeks while the pace of the job has remained relentless, numerous items in the news have made me reflect on how lucky I am to have a good paying, challenging and interesting job. With the G20 Summit and unemployment numbers continuing to increase it seemed to a good time to reflect on my situation. I guess what I am trying to say is that when I started to think about my future, I really began to realise how little thought I had given it. This, while not surprising, made me think that while you can maybe jump on the net and book a great last minute flight and get lucky and get a great honey moon, it is ultimately safer to plan.
3. School Reunions. When I got thinking about my situation, I started to think "if I went to a school reunion, what would I say?". I don't really know where this thought came from, but it seemed an interesting way to look at my job. For a start, it made me think that if I was writing a list of what I do, this would ultimately vary what I would tell people. Ultimately, there would be a bit of vanity - I would want those guys I used to know that I am doing well, living happily etc. Again, its not that I am not happy, but I really do feel I would be creative with the truth when describing my job and lifestyle. Working on the grad programme is undeniably great - like a honey moon, you don't come back and tell all your friends about the stupid fight you had on the second night.
4. The media wouldn't let the truth stand in the way of a good story. I guess that many people would probably be slightly creative with the truth - especially if it suits their means. However, I don't know why I would be feel the need to "big up" my job to people I hardly know or care about. Maybe this is because status is so important but I never thought it would be important to me. Maybe that's a bit clichéd, but I've never been one to go out of my way to be seen to be important. It is interesting to see the change in my own opinions since moving to London - I now am sincerely interested in both status and career and this has both surprised and educated me.
5. As the Honey moon ends... The image I have in my head is that first step off the return flight back into the UK after 2 weeks in Barbados. Ultimately the end of the honey moon is meant to be the first day of the rest of your lives together, but on a grey rainy day in Heathrow, you step onto the tarmac and the reality of the situation hits home. Its not that the reality is bad, just it is impossible to guess just how you feel about it until you are face to face with the situation.
For me, I guess this is the key point - how the job makes me feel. I like to think of myself as being quite scientific the reality is that so much of what we do relates to and affects our feelings. The reality is that my status, career planning and lifestyle having a definite impact on how I feel - and this took me by surprise. Ultimately though, just like a once the honeymoon period ends, be it in your job or marriage, you never can tell how you will feel until you are actually in the situation itself.
1. Back to Reality. After 8 months living and working in London, I have started to think beyond the next weekend. By this I mean, normally my only care is about delivering in work and partying at the weekend. While there have been plenty of times in the past where I planned my future etc, the first 8 months have been so relentless I've hardly had any time. So like the end of a honey moon, I have to start thinking about the realities of the job, career and life in London.
2. Why the change in heart son? What brought this sudden change in heart? Well, I am not sure that it was so sudden, rather I think that over the last few weeks while the pace of the job has remained relentless, numerous items in the news have made me reflect on how lucky I am to have a good paying, challenging and interesting job. With the G20 Summit and unemployment numbers continuing to increase it seemed to a good time to reflect on my situation. I guess what I am trying to say is that when I started to think about my future, I really began to realise how little thought I had given it. This, while not surprising, made me think that while you can maybe jump on the net and book a great last minute flight and get lucky and get a great honey moon, it is ultimately safer to plan.
3. School Reunions. When I got thinking about my situation, I started to think "if I went to a school reunion, what would I say?". I don't really know where this thought came from, but it seemed an interesting way to look at my job. For a start, it made me think that if I was writing a list of what I do, this would ultimately vary what I would tell people. Ultimately, there would be a bit of vanity - I would want those guys I used to know that I am doing well, living happily etc. Again, its not that I am not happy, but I really do feel I would be creative with the truth when describing my job and lifestyle. Working on the grad programme is undeniably great - like a honey moon, you don't come back and tell all your friends about the stupid fight you had on the second night.
4. The media wouldn't let the truth stand in the way of a good story. I guess that many people would probably be slightly creative with the truth - especially if it suits their means. However, I don't know why I would be feel the need to "big up" my job to people I hardly know or care about. Maybe this is because status is so important but I never thought it would be important to me. Maybe that's a bit clichéd, but I've never been one to go out of my way to be seen to be important. It is interesting to see the change in my own opinions since moving to London - I now am sincerely interested in both status and career and this has both surprised and educated me.
5. As the Honey moon ends... The image I have in my head is that first step off the return flight back into the UK after 2 weeks in Barbados. Ultimately the end of the honey moon is meant to be the first day of the rest of your lives together, but on a grey rainy day in Heathrow, you step onto the tarmac and the reality of the situation hits home. Its not that the reality is bad, just it is impossible to guess just how you feel about it until you are face to face with the situation.
For me, I guess this is the key point - how the job makes me feel. I like to think of myself as being quite scientific the reality is that so much of what we do relates to and affects our feelings. The reality is that my status, career planning and lifestyle having a definite impact on how I feel - and this took me by surprise. Ultimately though, just like a once the honeymoon period ends, be it in your job or marriage, you never can tell how you will feel until you are actually in the situation itself.
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
Twenty 'G's - all on black!
As it transpires, all bankers, personal or otherwise are morally corrupt bad individuals contributing directly to the global crisis. Well, at least this would be the case were you to believe some of what has been said today. I am aware that this is a potentially sensitive topic in the current climate, but I did want to make a few remarks about how I see the current protests around how the 20 G's* affects our positions on the Graduate programme.
1. If You got love - you ain't' lonely: The same goes for hate. While it is not nice to work in a sector that gets an awful lot of bad press, I must say that I for one, find it very interesting to work for a company that has such incredible exposure. Understandably, not all this exposure is positive, but many of us are working for one of the most high profile business's in the country, in the financial capital of Europe. This really makes me appreciate the fact that, yes we are having tough times, but we are not going through it alone. Hell, we may even be one of the better equipped to handle the difficulties. Plus, we all should know, that if we make a positive impact now, when times are tough, we will stand out as being able to contribute to the business in tough times.
2. Lets all Play the Blame game: It is very easy to blame other people for pretty much anything. If you don't want to take responsibility, there is usually someone else you can pass it on to. While this may undeniably be the wrong business attitude, it is important to look at the vitriol being directed at bankers. Some of us may argue that we are still very new to bank, and sure, decisions were made in the past that were incorrect, but its not like we made them. However, the banks do get bad press and one of the reasons we do, I would suggest, is that many people fail to see the difference between making and allowing.
If I were to make something happen, say by pushing a child into the sea to drown, I would have caused the child's death by making it happen. If i were to stand by while a child was in the sea drowning and not rescue the child, I would have caused the child's death by allowing it to happen. The outcome of both my actions is the same - in both cases my actions caused the child's death. This is one way that people look at common issues - the bottom line is what matters, and if you allow it to happen, you are as responsible for the event happening as if you caused it in the first place. This is , I believe, one of the reasons why so much anger is directed towards bankers, as we are working for companies that have endorsed in the past one particular set of rules and behaviours as employees we are happy to allow these procedures to take place.
However, there is something fundamentally different between doing and allowing. In the above example, causing the child to drown implies callous, calculating and sociopathic tendencies. Allowing the child to die implies cowardice, ineptness and lack of empathy. While both sets of characteristics are flaws in character, there are very fundamental differences. However, the point is thatjudgement is often made of the bottom line.
We, as 'bankers', are being judged at the bottom line. If we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem in that we are 'allowing' the problem to happen. However, there is a very big difference between allowing a problem to happen and intentionally bringing it about in the first place.
I for one, am happy to admit that I am part of the problem in that there are things I can do to improve, but I am not willing to admit that I am part of the cause of the problem. I want to make a differnce, but I want to do it in a fair and educated manner.
My guess is that many of the protester's are looking are being very "bottom line" and looking at the ultimate outcomes. Which is exactly the kind of behaviour they have criticised the banks for - looking too much at the bottom line and not enough at the big picture. The big picture for me (student debts, lifestyle, career) is very differnt from the "corporate approach".
Then again, though I may not agree with a particular way of thinking, I would not dream of anything as vulgar as throwing bits of steel through their windows.
My two main points of this post were around the high level of exposure and the philosophical implication of the problems. I have missed out something more serious and this has been intentional. I have not covered the threat to bankers personal safety - but with good reason.
In a modern civilised society there is no place for threatening people because of their (legal) profession. There are many difficult and repugnant jobs that have to be done that do not get subjected to the same exposure in the media. I would not wish to indulge any cretin who threatened a colleague of mine with violence by discussing the fallacies of their point of view.
3. One for the Road: For what its worth, my own opinions are distinctly very left wing. I agree, in principle with a large element of what the protester's have been saying, though I would go one step further and criticise the democratic systems in place. I agree with protesting, but never in the manner which reduces protests to ignorant acts of indiscriminate, disruptive violence.
Coming from Northern Ireland, I know a thing or two about indiscriminate, ignorant violence.
My fundamental point is this. It is fascinating to work in a culturally diverse society. It is even better to work in one that supports pro-active opposition to the status quo. I feel privileged that I can work in a job where I can make a difference and learn at the same time. I don't agree with violence and erratic opinions.
Protesting in such a manner as we saw today is a gamble. It is a gamble for your own safety, your colleagues safety and a gamble on the profile of your opinion.
Ultimately, I would not gamble with things like my colleagues safety or endorse violence against them for holding political opinions contrary to my own. Which is essentially what many people are doing. Protesting is one thing, but encouraging violence is another - it suggests that it is easier to blame than reason.
But then again, that's maybe why I didn't put Twenty G's on this passing off peacefully. I'm just not a big enough gambler and I prefer to reason than blame
Kindest,
DD
*20 G's is actually a reference to the book "the Gods that Failed". It is a discussion of the most powerful leaders in the world and how they modelled themselves as gods - but ultimately, failed.
1. If You got love - you ain't' lonely: The same goes for hate. While it is not nice to work in a sector that gets an awful lot of bad press, I must say that I for one, find it very interesting to work for a company that has such incredible exposure. Understandably, not all this exposure is positive, but many of us are working for one of the most high profile business's in the country, in the financial capital of Europe. This really makes me appreciate the fact that, yes we are having tough times, but we are not going through it alone. Hell, we may even be one of the better equipped to handle the difficulties. Plus, we all should know, that if we make a positive impact now, when times are tough, we will stand out as being able to contribute to the business in tough times.
2. Lets all Play the Blame game: It is very easy to blame other people for pretty much anything. If you don't want to take responsibility, there is usually someone else you can pass it on to. While this may undeniably be the wrong business attitude, it is important to look at the vitriol being directed at bankers. Some of us may argue that we are still very new to bank, and sure, decisions were made in the past that were incorrect, but its not like we made them. However, the banks do get bad press and one of the reasons we do, I would suggest, is that many people fail to see the difference between making and allowing.
If I were to make something happen, say by pushing a child into the sea to drown, I would have caused the child's death by making it happen. If i were to stand by while a child was in the sea drowning and not rescue the child, I would have caused the child's death by allowing it to happen. The outcome of both my actions is the same - in both cases my actions caused the child's death. This is one way that people look at common issues - the bottom line is what matters, and if you allow it to happen, you are as responsible for the event happening as if you caused it in the first place. This is , I believe, one of the reasons why so much anger is directed towards bankers, as we are working for companies that have endorsed in the past one particular set of rules and behaviours as employees we are happy to allow these procedures to take place.
However, there is something fundamentally different between doing and allowing. In the above example, causing the child to drown implies callous, calculating and sociopathic tendencies. Allowing the child to die implies cowardice, ineptness and lack of empathy. While both sets of characteristics are flaws in character, there are very fundamental differences. However, the point is thatjudgement is often made of the bottom line.
We, as 'bankers', are being judged at the bottom line. If we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem in that we are 'allowing' the problem to happen. However, there is a very big difference between allowing a problem to happen and intentionally bringing it about in the first place.
I for one, am happy to admit that I am part of the problem in that there are things I can do to improve, but I am not willing to admit that I am part of the cause of the problem. I want to make a differnce, but I want to do it in a fair and educated manner.
My guess is that many of the protester's are looking are being very "bottom line" and looking at the ultimate outcomes. Which is exactly the kind of behaviour they have criticised the banks for - looking too much at the bottom line and not enough at the big picture. The big picture for me (student debts, lifestyle, career) is very differnt from the "corporate approach".
Then again, though I may not agree with a particular way of thinking, I would not dream of anything as vulgar as throwing bits of steel through their windows.
My two main points of this post were around the high level of exposure and the philosophical implication of the problems. I have missed out something more serious and this has been intentional. I have not covered the threat to bankers personal safety - but with good reason.
In a modern civilised society there is no place for threatening people because of their (legal) profession. There are many difficult and repugnant jobs that have to be done that do not get subjected to the same exposure in the media. I would not wish to indulge any cretin who threatened a colleague of mine with violence by discussing the fallacies of their point of view.
3. One for the Road: For what its worth, my own opinions are distinctly very left wing. I agree, in principle with a large element of what the protester's have been saying, though I would go one step further and criticise the democratic systems in place. I agree with protesting, but never in the manner which reduces protests to ignorant acts of indiscriminate, disruptive violence.
Coming from Northern Ireland, I know a thing or two about indiscriminate, ignorant violence.
My fundamental point is this. It is fascinating to work in a culturally diverse society. It is even better to work in one that supports pro-active opposition to the status quo. I feel privileged that I can work in a job where I can make a difference and learn at the same time. I don't agree with violence and erratic opinions.
Protesting in such a manner as we saw today is a gamble. It is a gamble for your own safety, your colleagues safety and a gamble on the profile of your opinion.
Ultimately, I would not gamble with things like my colleagues safety or endorse violence against them for holding political opinions contrary to my own. Which is essentially what many people are doing. Protesting is one thing, but encouraging violence is another - it suggests that it is easier to blame than reason.
But then again, that's maybe why I didn't put Twenty G's on this passing off peacefully. I'm just not a big enough gambler and I prefer to reason than blame
Kindest,
DD
*20 G's is actually a reference to the book "the Gods that Failed". It is a discussion of the most powerful leaders in the world and how they modelled themselves as gods - but ultimately, failed.
Tuesday, 31 March 2009
Decisions Decisions Decisions....
Okay, so i was thinking on the tube on Monday about the idea of decision making. Obviously, as part of our jobs we are required to make decisions - this is part of any job. However, in my job, I have found decision making to be very interesting and challenging.
I would suggest, that 99.9% of the decisions we make don't have huge consequences. For example, it does not really matter whether or not I decide to read my book on the history of Formula 1 or go to bed. Sure, i may be slightly more tired in the morning, but, bottom line, its not going to hugely influence my life. Lets not get too metaphysical and start suggesting that all actions have effects (which they do), but lets assume that their consequences are negligible.
And there we have it... we have assumed. I have heard, and HATE, the saying "when you assume you make an ASS of U and ME (As an aside, why do people always say that in a slightly ridiculous voice!? In fact, its anything but an unassuming voice). Anyway, the point is, that we make decisions, very often based on assumptions, and generally our decisions are assessed against these assumptions.
Where the decisions are based heavily on assumptions, they are deemed risky, and where they are based lightly on assumptions and primarily on fact, they are deemed "informed". So that is decision making...
Well for me, there is more to decision making that just assumptions and facts. Usually I make decisions with a motivation attached to it. While it may seem that more often than not, decisions boil down to a balance of Fact vs Assumption, many of the decisions we make have important business relevance. And this is where the point of this post (hopefully) begins to take shape.
We are all expected to make business decisions and indeed are encouraged to be risk takers. But a vital part of our own success, and probably self esteem, is the motivation we have for making particular decisions. When i want to make a decision, I want to know that it not just the right one, but that I am also making it for the right reasons.
My point is this - it is often very difficult to know that we are making the right decision, and I find it even harder to know why. Due to the massively complex corporate culture, business environment and sheer number of people we work with, making decisions is often the easy bit, but understanding why is often anything but transparent. When you take into account business culture, value, sales, politcs, money, personal interestand so on, decision making becomes very obscured.
One quote springs to mind: "Indecision costs more than a Bad Decision". A great quote no doubt, but sometimes I think that making the decision not to decide until I better understand my own motivations , is as important as being able to decide in the first place.
Then again, you may disagree - maybe motivations mean nothing and all I have done is made an ass of me.
Kindest,
DD
PS really good artice on JV here. Check it out. It is interesting. Also, it is relevant to my post - it outlines the importance of decision making. Check it.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/banksandfinance/5062609/Barclays-master-of-its-destiny-as-John-Varleys-gamble-pays-off.html
I would suggest, that 99.9% of the decisions we make don't have huge consequences. For example, it does not really matter whether or not I decide to read my book on the history of Formula 1 or go to bed. Sure, i may be slightly more tired in the morning, but, bottom line, its not going to hugely influence my life. Lets not get too metaphysical and start suggesting that all actions have effects (which they do), but lets assume that their consequences are negligible.
And there we have it... we have assumed. I have heard, and HATE, the saying "when you assume you make an ASS of U and ME (As an aside, why do people always say that in a slightly ridiculous voice!? In fact, its anything but an unassuming voice). Anyway, the point is, that we make decisions, very often based on assumptions, and generally our decisions are assessed against these assumptions.
Where the decisions are based heavily on assumptions, they are deemed risky, and where they are based lightly on assumptions and primarily on fact, they are deemed "informed". So that is decision making...
Well for me, there is more to decision making that just assumptions and facts. Usually I make decisions with a motivation attached to it. While it may seem that more often than not, decisions boil down to a balance of Fact vs Assumption, many of the decisions we make have important business relevance. And this is where the point of this post (hopefully) begins to take shape.
We are all expected to make business decisions and indeed are encouraged to be risk takers. But a vital part of our own success, and probably self esteem, is the motivation we have for making particular decisions. When i want to make a decision, I want to know that it not just the right one, but that I am also making it for the right reasons.
My point is this - it is often very difficult to know that we are making the right decision, and I find it even harder to know why. Due to the massively complex corporate culture, business environment and sheer number of people we work with, making decisions is often the easy bit, but understanding why is often anything but transparent. When you take into account business culture, value, sales, politcs, money, personal interestand so on, decision making becomes very obscured.
One quote springs to mind: "Indecision costs more than a Bad Decision". A great quote no doubt, but sometimes I think that making the decision not to decide until I better understand my own motivations , is as important as being able to decide in the first place.
Then again, you may disagree - maybe motivations mean nothing and all I have done is made an ass of me.
Kindest,
DD
PS really good artice on JV here. Check it out. It is interesting. Also, it is relevant to my post - it outlines the importance of decision making. Check it.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/banksandfinance/5062609/Barclays-master-of-its-destiny-as-John-Varleys-gamble-pays-off.html
Saturday, 21 March 2009
The Ever-Rest Challenge
Well, today I took part in the Everest challenge. As any of my colleagues were keen to point out, technically i profited from a charity event, which in turn means that I am a bad bad man. It was an interesting start to the day, though there were a few comments I wanted to make.
1. I felt like death: By the time I finished, floor 30 seemed felt like my first step into hell. In fact, if you will spare me the (deliberate) literary allusion, it felt like Dante's first step into the inferno. My whole body hurt, my throat burned - hell, even my teeth hurt. And it was not that nice kind of pain you get after good exercise, this was a proper "I am not as fit as i thought i was, dream on if you think you are going down stairs for another one" kind of pain. And you know what, it surprised me. I play football 3 times a week and am used to running 5 miles at a reasonably competitive time, but this was something else. I was a wreck.
2.Hands off...Hands on: There was a lot of clapping. I know it was all for charity, but there seemed to be ab awful lot of clapping. I am not suggesting that this was totally self congratulatory, as there was some really hard work put in, but I think I clapped "ourselves" at least three times. Hell, we just rocked in at 10am for a run up some stairs. I guess my point here is that we were clapping the wrong people. The majority of the money raised, I will hazard a guess, was donated by people not present. It was these guys who deserved the applause, and yet we couldn't give it to them, not directly at least.
3. Give me a hand: The stewards or marshall's saw some grim sights. One of them tried to encourage me by saying "would you like some water?". I replied with "mate, I need a fu*king hug, not some water". At least he smiled, no harm was meant, but christ did I really need a hug (thanks HP).
4. Always mix business and pleasure: It was really interesting to see the group dynamic once again. I know there were some individuals attending, some branch teams and some couples present, but it was really interesting to see the other graduates again.
We took some excellent and ridiculous photographs, but what stood out for me was the attitude. For me, it did not feel like I was with people I worked with, it felt like I was there with a group of buddies (allow me this sentimental digression please). That said, it was buddies who abuse, insult and generally torture me when they can, but that's standard and I'm down with that. The point remains that I felt that people were more natural and at ease than during working hours (you see - this is why corporate wear sucks). While people may assume this is obvious, I find it difficult to relax around people I work with, even outside working hours, but today it felt easy to do so. But then again, we were all in shorts.
5. Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail: there was some pretty wicked planning involved today. Sure, there were one or two pairs of shorts that were too short, but generally, it was a well executed day. While I will not pretend to know all the logistics, I must say it ran pretty smooth. So cheers to those guys who organised it. In fact, I feel compelled to add, that the one part of the day that was left to myself to organise involved an amusing incident. I managed to get the DLR towards Bank, then stay on the train once I had reached Bank (while everyone departed) and headed back towards Shadwell. So good work guys on the organisational front - very smooth and very enjoyable.
These were the things that leapt to mind, though I am sure several other observations leapt a bit higher for everyone else. I had a really good day and certainly had a lot of fun. It would be great to have the option to meet all the guys in that sort of capacity every week - it was certainly refreshing to have a totally non work meeting with some of the guys - but I guess one of the charms was that events like that don't happen all the time.
As such, I'd though I would leave you with a poem:
Churchill Place has many a stair,
It is tough on the mind as well as the soul.
My body felt good, my heart without care.
at the challenge ahead and the easy goal.
Floor one to ten took my ambition,
It was tough on the mind as well as the soul.
For me, it began at a sprint and ended a war of attrition,
The first ten flights had begun to take their toll.
Floors ten to twenty felt like I was running in glue,
It was tough on the mind as well as the soul.
I walked and struggled on and my hopes were too few,
Never before had I felt less suited to a role.
The last ten flights were designed to separate the great from the crud,
It was tough on the mind as well as the soul.
I insulted a helper and sweatted what felt like blood,
WhileClimbing the stairs I descended into a hole.
The finish arrived , and supreme was the feeling,
It was easy on the mind and let lose my soul!
Yet nothing could stop me, over did I go - reeling,
Despite all this I had achieved my goal!
And so it ended with a group hug,
happy I felt and without a drug!
training next year has begun in vain,
For I still know I will feel as much pain.
A dreadful poem - but then again, given how dreadful I felt, it seemed fitting.
Kindest,
Dante
1. I felt like death: By the time I finished, floor 30 seemed felt like my first step into hell. In fact, if you will spare me the (deliberate) literary allusion, it felt like Dante's first step into the inferno. My whole body hurt, my throat burned - hell, even my teeth hurt. And it was not that nice kind of pain you get after good exercise, this was a proper "I am not as fit as i thought i was, dream on if you think you are going down stairs for another one" kind of pain. And you know what, it surprised me. I play football 3 times a week and am used to running 5 miles at a reasonably competitive time, but this was something else. I was a wreck.
2.Hands off...Hands on: There was a lot of clapping. I know it was all for charity, but there seemed to be ab awful lot of clapping. I am not suggesting that this was totally self congratulatory, as there was some really hard work put in, but I think I clapped "ourselves" at least three times. Hell, we just rocked in at 10am for a run up some stairs. I guess my point here is that we were clapping the wrong people. The majority of the money raised, I will hazard a guess, was donated by people not present. It was these guys who deserved the applause, and yet we couldn't give it to them, not directly at least.
3. Give me a hand: The stewards or marshall's saw some grim sights. One of them tried to encourage me by saying "would you like some water?". I replied with "mate, I need a fu*king hug, not some water". At least he smiled, no harm was meant, but christ did I really need a hug (thanks HP).
4. Always mix business and pleasure: It was really interesting to see the group dynamic once again. I know there were some individuals attending, some branch teams and some couples present, but it was really interesting to see the other graduates again.
We took some excellent and ridiculous photographs, but what stood out for me was the attitude. For me, it did not feel like I was with people I worked with, it felt like I was there with a group of buddies (allow me this sentimental digression please). That said, it was buddies who abuse, insult and generally torture me when they can, but that's standard and I'm down with that. The point remains that I felt that people were more natural and at ease than during working hours (you see - this is why corporate wear sucks). While people may assume this is obvious, I find it difficult to relax around people I work with, even outside working hours, but today it felt easy to do so. But then again, we were all in shorts.
5. Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail: there was some pretty wicked planning involved today. Sure, there were one or two pairs of shorts that were too short, but generally, it was a well executed day. While I will not pretend to know all the logistics, I must say it ran pretty smooth. So cheers to those guys who organised it. In fact, I feel compelled to add, that the one part of the day that was left to myself to organise involved an amusing incident. I managed to get the DLR towards Bank, then stay on the train once I had reached Bank (while everyone departed) and headed back towards Shadwell. So good work guys on the organisational front - very smooth and very enjoyable.
These were the things that leapt to mind, though I am sure several other observations leapt a bit higher for everyone else. I had a really good day and certainly had a lot of fun. It would be great to have the option to meet all the guys in that sort of capacity every week - it was certainly refreshing to have a totally non work meeting with some of the guys - but I guess one of the charms was that events like that don't happen all the time.
As such, I'd though I would leave you with a poem:
Churchill Place has many a stair,
It is tough on the mind as well as the soul.
My body felt good, my heart without care.
at the challenge ahead and the easy goal.
Floor one to ten took my ambition,
It was tough on the mind as well as the soul.
For me, it began at a sprint and ended a war of attrition,
The first ten flights had begun to take their toll.
Floors ten to twenty felt like I was running in glue,
It was tough on the mind as well as the soul.
I walked and struggled on and my hopes were too few,
Never before had I felt less suited to a role.
The last ten flights were designed to separate the great from the crud,
It was tough on the mind as well as the soul.
I insulted a helper and sweatted what felt like blood,
WhileClimbing the stairs I descended into a hole.
The finish arrived , and supreme was the feeling,
It was easy on the mind and let lose my soul!
Yet nothing could stop me, over did I go - reeling,
Despite all this I had achieved my goal!
And so it ended with a group hug,
happy I felt and without a drug!
training next year has begun in vain,
For I still know I will feel as much pain.
A dreadful poem - but then again, given how dreadful I felt, it seemed fitting.
Kindest,
Dante
Thursday, 19 March 2009
Culture - not just about taking in museums.
It has been slightly longer than I had hoped between posts. Believe me, this has been more down to the fact that I have been busy than a lack of things to say (ask my flatmate - he hears allot of my comments that don’t make it as far as this blog!). Anyhow, I wanted to make a few comments about culture.
First of all, living in London, a city of culture, I have begun to feel very lucky. Lucky that I have the opportunities to visit all these wonderful places like the imperial war museum, the Tate modern and even Westminster - what ever floats your boat. So, that’s great! There are so many places to go, so many places to see... but do I have the time to get to them all?
You see, this is the double edged sword that is culture. The culture of work.
Having moved out of the retail network and into a more office based position, I have become involved in a different environment. This different environment brings with it its own unique set of unwritten rules, behaviours and expectations. And what is a "culture", in the business sense, except rules, behaviours and expectations.
This 'office' environment seems to me to have some very specific, and perhaps specific to it, cultural idiosyncacies. I thought I'd briefly discuss a few.
1. Look, but don’t touch. Of course, it’s a slight metaphor. In an office, it’s totally okay to look, or rather, not look but listen carefully to other interactions that are going on around you. Indeed, feel free to eavesdrop on people. In-fact, you may not even be eavesdropping - you may just be listening to a conversation people want you to hear. Or, to take this to a greater extreme, you may be able to see / hear that a conversation is taking place, without being able to hear the details. In this case it is obvious that its okay you see these two people are having a conversation, but you must not enquire as to what it is.
For them, it is a "private conversation" that they are having in public - so never ever interrupt. Or, better still, look at your emails and sigh - that way it looks like you have been asked a difficult question that requires your full attention, but really, you are more interested in the type (if not the detail) of the conversation.
2. NEVER and I mean NEVER, go home. It is a total mistake to be the first to leave. Woe and betide the gent or gentlewoman who leaves early. In-fact, even if you are doing something you could do at home, it is better to get a coffee (that you wont drink) at 455pm and spend 20 minutes doing it in the office. It’s better to be seen working in the office, than be working unseen (but twice as hard) at home.
3. Sell yourself: I am not endorsing some sort of prostitution, but every opportunity for discussion, even if it is about how many pens you need for an afternoon meeting, are an opportunity to display your social networking and self management skills.
4. The train was Late: If no one else gets your tube in, there were always delays on that line. It does not matter that you were technically early, if you arrive between0855 and 0920 without reason, there were delays on the tube. Any longer, and you are into the realm of major delays, but this time period is small enough to account for a "random" delay. Of course, those extra 5 minutes in bed were worth it.
5. Status please! There is literally never a dull moment. It is inconceivable that you may actually have a free moment. A free moment is merely an opportunity to find more work. If you are not working or seeking work, you are wasting time and not adding value. The same goes for lunch, if you are not working lunch; your lunch schedule is not working. And of course, people should know that you are seeking work, email as many people as possible and ring someone for a status update. OR, better still, ring your flatmate and talk crap with him that sounds like business.
Okay, so these were 5 things that leapt out to me. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of hard workers in the office, but I wonder about the culture. If our culture is to behave in this fashion with the goal of being perceived to work hard, are we maybe missing the point?
Is it okay to leave 20 minutes early to catch a faster train home where you will work harder? Is it okay to see two people having a "private conversation" and comment on it? To be honest I don’t know.
I guess the reality is that perception matters, culture does not.
Or rather, business culture is fundamentally a perception of performance. And in our business reality, performance is everything.
For me, there is more to life than performance, but one thing I do know is that all this 'culture' is causing me to miss a hell of a lot of 'culture' in London.
DD
First of all, living in London, a city of culture, I have begun to feel very lucky. Lucky that I have the opportunities to visit all these wonderful places like the imperial war museum, the Tate modern and even Westminster - what ever floats your boat. So, that’s great! There are so many places to go, so many places to see... but do I have the time to get to them all?
You see, this is the double edged sword that is culture. The culture of work.
Having moved out of the retail network and into a more office based position, I have become involved in a different environment. This different environment brings with it its own unique set of unwritten rules, behaviours and expectations. And what is a "culture", in the business sense, except rules, behaviours and expectations.
This 'office' environment seems to me to have some very specific, and perhaps specific to it, cultural idiosyncacies. I thought I'd briefly discuss a few.
1. Look, but don’t touch. Of course, it’s a slight metaphor. In an office, it’s totally okay to look, or rather, not look but listen carefully to other interactions that are going on around you. Indeed, feel free to eavesdrop on people. In-fact, you may not even be eavesdropping - you may just be listening to a conversation people want you to hear. Or, to take this to a greater extreme, you may be able to see / hear that a conversation is taking place, without being able to hear the details. In this case it is obvious that its okay you see these two people are having a conversation, but you must not enquire as to what it is.
For them, it is a "private conversation" that they are having in public - so never ever interrupt. Or, better still, look at your emails and sigh - that way it looks like you have been asked a difficult question that requires your full attention, but really, you are more interested in the type (if not the detail) of the conversation.
2. NEVER and I mean NEVER, go home. It is a total mistake to be the first to leave. Woe and betide the gent or gentlewoman who leaves early. In-fact, even if you are doing something you could do at home, it is better to get a coffee (that you wont drink) at 455pm and spend 20 minutes doing it in the office. It’s better to be seen working in the office, than be working unseen (but twice as hard) at home.
3. Sell yourself: I am not endorsing some sort of prostitution, but every opportunity for discussion, even if it is about how many pens you need for an afternoon meeting, are an opportunity to display your social networking and self management skills.
4. The train was Late: If no one else gets your tube in, there were always delays on that line. It does not matter that you were technically early, if you arrive between0855 and 0920 without reason, there were delays on the tube. Any longer, and you are into the realm of major delays, but this time period is small enough to account for a "random" delay. Of course, those extra 5 minutes in bed were worth it.
5. Status please! There is literally never a dull moment. It is inconceivable that you may actually have a free moment. A free moment is merely an opportunity to find more work. If you are not working or seeking work, you are wasting time and not adding value. The same goes for lunch, if you are not working lunch; your lunch schedule is not working. And of course, people should know that you are seeking work, email as many people as possible and ring someone for a status update. OR, better still, ring your flatmate and talk crap with him that sounds like business.
Okay, so these were 5 things that leapt out to me. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of hard workers in the office, but I wonder about the culture. If our culture is to behave in this fashion with the goal of being perceived to work hard, are we maybe missing the point?
Is it okay to leave 20 minutes early to catch a faster train home where you will work harder? Is it okay to see two people having a "private conversation" and comment on it? To be honest I don’t know.
I guess the reality is that perception matters, culture does not.
Or rather, business culture is fundamentally a perception of performance. And in our business reality, performance is everything.
For me, there is more to life than performance, but one thing I do know is that all this 'culture' is causing me to miss a hell of a lot of 'culture' in London.
DD
Tuesday, 3 March 2009
Work Life Balance and Thoughts on the future.
Hello all,
This blog entry has been slightly delayed for two reasons. The first because I was back home for the weekend (stressful!) and the second because I wanted to be able to give some proper thought to this. Anyhow, this post focus's around the work life balance and the idea of a career.
Okay, so what is "work life balance". When someone asked me what sort of work life balance I had, i thought it was a round about way of asking was I on drugs. And thats the truth. I was new to London, and it struck me as maybe being like one of those weird sayings people say, just like "are you friends with Dorothy?"* Anyhow, as we all know, work life balance relates to how we balance our working and social life. This got me thinking...
First of all, I didnt know I had a work life balance. Sure I go out at the weekends and what ever, but I didnt know that this was called a WLB. Then I realised why. Most of the time, when I think of things, I think of actions, not "long term consequences". You may be able to see where this is going. For example, my social life and playing football to me were just individual activities, but ultimately they are part of a delicate balance. But Hang on! This does not seem natural. Think of the following few examples:
1. Binge Drinking: Is it actually possible to just go for a drink? Have two pints and it is a binge drink.
2. Learning something: Is it still possible to just learn something because I like to, or do we have to identify a development need?
3. Change your attitude: Do I change my attitude or do I now change my approach in order to meet my long term objectives.
Anyhow, I may be labouring a point, but essentially when I go for a drink, read a book or changing my attitude about something, I always felt these were isolated actions. But now they form part of my work life balance. Interestingly, I now minute plan my social life in outlook. I put social events, including football training in my outlook.
I find myself more effective at having fun if I plan and structure it. But does this in someway make it less fun? Or is this planning just part of the bigger picture that is necessary for me to adapt to? Like say....a Career?
This leads me on to the second part of this post. This is the first job I took as a career. Every other job has been taken out of necessity, interest or experience. However, my place on the Grad Programme is one that I took for the future and potential. This in itself is quite an alien concept to me.
My previous career planning was listening to a philosophy lecturer telling me that all the greatest philosophers were either tortured to death or committed suicide. Tough Break. But the point was I had no plan...
I had no plan and ended up here. But is that such a bad thing? I mean, I'm pretty happy with where I got to, I have had a blast at Uni and had a great time so far. So when certain important leaders in our institution and peoples whose opinion I value start telling me to get a plan for the future, the fact that my lack of planning so far has got me where I am happy to be makes me think - Do I really need a plan?
This then brings me full circle to my work life balance. I am more effective when I plan my fun side of my life, so if i plan my work side, will I be more effective at that too?
So thats my thoughts on the difficulty of carreer choice and balancing my working life. Of course, I couldnt end without a final remark.
Those greeat philosophers certainly didnt plan to be tortured, but they did plan to commit suicide. The phrase a rock and a hard place when it comes to plans springs to mind. Or as a certain actor once said " a plan is just a list of things that dont happen".
Good luck with your work life balance!
kindest,
D
---
* I usuually reply, "no, she is my ex girlfriend". Lord knows what they infer from this.
This blog entry has been slightly delayed for two reasons. The first because I was back home for the weekend (stressful!) and the second because I wanted to be able to give some proper thought to this. Anyhow, this post focus's around the work life balance and the idea of a career.
Okay, so what is "work life balance". When someone asked me what sort of work life balance I had, i thought it was a round about way of asking was I on drugs. And thats the truth. I was new to London, and it struck me as maybe being like one of those weird sayings people say, just like "are you friends with Dorothy?"* Anyhow, as we all know, work life balance relates to how we balance our working and social life. This got me thinking...
First of all, I didnt know I had a work life balance. Sure I go out at the weekends and what ever, but I didnt know that this was called a WLB. Then I realised why. Most of the time, when I think of things, I think of actions, not "long term consequences". You may be able to see where this is going. For example, my social life and playing football to me were just individual activities, but ultimately they are part of a delicate balance. But Hang on! This does not seem natural. Think of the following few examples:
1. Binge Drinking: Is it actually possible to just go for a drink? Have two pints and it is a binge drink.
2. Learning something: Is it still possible to just learn something because I like to, or do we have to identify a development need?
3. Change your attitude: Do I change my attitude or do I now change my approach in order to meet my long term objectives.
Anyhow, I may be labouring a point, but essentially when I go for a drink, read a book or changing my attitude about something, I always felt these were isolated actions. But now they form part of my work life balance. Interestingly, I now minute plan my social life in outlook. I put social events, including football training in my outlook.
I find myself more effective at having fun if I plan and structure it. But does this in someway make it less fun? Or is this planning just part of the bigger picture that is necessary for me to adapt to? Like say....a Career?
This leads me on to the second part of this post. This is the first job I took as a career. Every other job has been taken out of necessity, interest or experience. However, my place on the Grad Programme is one that I took for the future and potential. This in itself is quite an alien concept to me.
My previous career planning was listening to a philosophy lecturer telling me that all the greatest philosophers were either tortured to death or committed suicide. Tough Break. But the point was I had no plan...
I had no plan and ended up here. But is that such a bad thing? I mean, I'm pretty happy with where I got to, I have had a blast at Uni and had a great time so far. So when certain important leaders in our institution and peoples whose opinion I value start telling me to get a plan for the future, the fact that my lack of planning so far has got me where I am happy to be makes me think - Do I really need a plan?
This then brings me full circle to my work life balance. I am more effective when I plan my fun side of my life, so if i plan my work side, will I be more effective at that too?
So thats my thoughts on the difficulty of carreer choice and balancing my working life. Of course, I couldnt end without a final remark.
Those greeat philosophers certainly didnt plan to be tortured, but they did plan to commit suicide. The phrase a rock and a hard place when it comes to plans springs to mind. Or as a certain actor once said " a plan is just a list of things that dont happen".
Good luck with your work life balance!
kindest,
D
---
* I usuually reply, "no, she is my ex girlfriend". Lord knows what they infer from this.
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